what's in my heart,
is not in your head.
...
it's too repulsive for me to accept it, its just plain abhorrent. too big a blow for me, but i have to because there's no reason for me to have any hopes anymore. it just keeps flashing across my mind each time when i'm by myself & what not though, cause there are some things that trigger my thoughts there & then. i wonder how worse can it get.. but i'm telling myself to laugh it off & put it off in the back of my hate. (:
but perhaps this will make me stronger in time to come. perhaps this will make me happier as i should be if i think on the optimistic point of view. perhaps it wasn't that bad a decision for letting go as its allowing me to have a new lease of life. but then again, i could be using these as excuses to make myself feel a little better on the inside because i just can't bring myself to accept that cold harsh fact.
on a side note, i do feel a lot better lately, which is gonna be awesome when i'm past this phase.
...
deadline for 2 individual projects and 3 tests in 3 consecutive days in a fortnight, goodness. am going to stay home everyday after school to complete them, i think. like hopefully i won't keep getting distracted over the dumbest issues like what i am doing now. & i am incredibly lazy.
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